Clarity on what is a match for you and what is not. And the more you do your inner work, the more you let go of things that are no longer in alignment with you and what that means is it just doesn’t feel right anymore. Maybe you don’t really know what to do or where to go with that person, cuz you just don’t really feel that connection anymore. Or if it’s in business, it’s something that used to yield really great results. Like, you know, Facebook lives used to get lots of people signing up for calls with you right away. And it was fun and exciting. And now it just kind of feels like, Ugh, I don’t feel like doing this tonight. I’m tired. You know, it’s no longer a match to you and that’s okay. And the more you tune in and really ask yourself, is this a “Hell yes!” And if it’s not. It’s a no.
I said yes to something. It was an impulsive Yes. I will say it was impulsive and it was around my book and my book is so exciting and fun to me. And just this morning I told my personal trainer, my book is maybe one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life. And I put it right up there with my children. Like, it’s one of those creations that I am so freaking proud of. I’m so excited about. I just feel magic from, I feel so much yes, around this. That someone approached me and asked me to do an interview with her about my book. So I said, yes, right away. It was just like, yes, yes. I’d love to talk about it. And then I realized, as the interview was approaching that I hadn’t even asked, like, what are we gonna be talking about on this interview? Like, what’s the topic? What’s the audience? Like, where are we going here? And the response I got, it was like, Ooh, this is not an alignment. This is not what I wanna talk about. This just doesn’t resonate with me. Ooh. What do I do now? I’ve already said, yes, I’ve already committed. Is it okay to go back on my word? Will I let this person down? When this person no longer wanna work with me? All of those fears came up. And when I notice my energy shift is when I knew it was a no, but now will I have the courage to use that no. What will this mean? And I’ve realized that it’s no longer, never was my responsibility to manage another’s response to me and my choices and that when we make those excuses and we abandon ourselves and what feels right to us, it is a big deal, and we start negotiating with ourselves and we’re saying, oh, it’s just 20 minutes. Or it’s just this. Or maybe if I just call them back this one time. What happens is we start to feel worse because we’ve abandoned ourselves. And our intuition is saying not a match, not a match. You don’t have to call them back. You don’t have to engage with them further. You don’t have to do this, even though you said yes at the time. You were not using all of your senses. You were not using your deep intuition. And as time goes on and we shift our desires, a shift in change, what once was okay is no longer okay. And is no longer a match.
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Give Yourself Permission to Say NO!
Do we give ourselves that permission to now say no? And what I decided was that my time, energy and presence is so deeply valuable that yes, I will use my no, and I will release my attachment to how this person will respond to that. And to know that this is even more of that growth and that expansion that I’ve been wanting as a soul. And to clear the space for what is a yes. For the partners that are a yes for the interviews that are a yes for the next books that are a yes for the next clients that are a yes. And the more committed we say to ourselves and what is a yes to us, the better we feel. And the more we will call in that, which we are wanting. This voice, this inner voice gets louder. The more you do the work to clear way, what no longer is a match, whether that is connections, friends, old clients, things that once we’re matching no longer are.
And I just did an act this morning. I took action on this and I went to my cell phone and deleted. Every contact number one, that I had no idea who the people were. Some of them were from my photography days when I was a professional photographer. You know, people who called inquiring about photo shoots, never booked or people who did. And I had amazing experiences with, I’m not a professional photographer anymore, so why are they in my phone? So that was an easy one. So I went ahead and deleted all of them. And then I went back and I looked at the people that I’ve dated in the past. Some of ’em, you know, there was nostalgia with them like, oh, we had a good time. Or, oh, I wonder what they’re up to, but do I want to reach out to them? No, so they can go. So I deleted them and I said goodbye to each of them thanked each of them for what they contributed to my life. And then I went to friends. Are these friends that I would reach out to, am I in their life still? Or do I want to be in their life again? If it’s a no, it’s a no, some of them, I was a little hesitant to, childhood friends that I’m curious about, but right now we’re not in the same trajectory. So I did not delete them because maybe our paths will converge again. So I left them in my phone. And then I look back down the list and I say, I feel good about this list. I feel good about having the energy of these people around me and what I was thinking was I sleep with my phone next to my bed. The energy of these people was in my phone, no longer wonder I couldn’t sleep well.