Episode 34 – Growth Through Failure

Growth Through Failure

In this episode, Julie shares how being willing to fail can lead to your greatest triumphs in life.  When we spend so much of our lives trying to avoid failure we are limiting our highest growth potential because in the depths of failure is when the greatest lessons are learned and our true strengthening happens.  Getting curious about our desire to “win” and learning to let that go will allow us to experience the true joy and bliss that can happen when we try new things and don’t let the fear of failure stand in our way.

In This Episode, You Will Learn About:

  • How failing can be the greatest thing that happens for your growth
  • How to let go of the fear of failure
  • Having courage to put yourself out there in a new way is what will lead to your greatest triumphs in life


FREE downloadable training course

Schedule your Abundance Breakthrough Call Today:

https://juliegoetzinger.as.me/schedule.php?appointmentType=31237929


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About Julie Goetzinger:

Julie Goetzinger is a psychic medium, best-selling author and coach who teaches how to make more money and impact without sacrificing your well-being. In her book, “Free to Fly: Manifest the Life of Your Dreams,” she shares her story of how she created abundance by stepping into her true self as an artist and spiritual medium. She is the creator of Free to Fly and has seven years of experience in business as an entrepreneur.

Connect with Julie Goetzinger: 

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Performing at the Moth

Recently, I went and performed a story at The Moth. The Moth is for storytellers, many of which are professional speakers, actors, actresses coming to perfect their craft.  And I decided, being trained as a professional speaker, this would be something that’s great for me, to get in front of an audience and to practice a story. I signed up to put my name in to be pooled. And what happens is you’re to prepare a five minute talk on a specific theme.

The theme that night was crossroads.  So we were asked to prepare a five minute talk, and you don’t know if you’re gonna get chosen when you get there. You put your name in the bag and that just means that you’re open to being chosen.  I came in cocky as hell and I left deeply humbled. 

Here’s what happened:  I walked in and I’m like, “I got this. I’m a speaker. I’ve got a speaking coach. I’ve got a rating coach. I can do this. I’m not afraid.” I introduced myself to the staff. I sat near the VIPs. I saw their seats marked VIP, and I decided I would make friends with the VIPs because I, too, am a VIP, and I deserve to be here in this section. Again, feeling cocky, feeling confident. And cocky to me just means overconfident.

It was just how I was at the beginning of that night,  and I made friends with this woman who actually had won the event the previous time. So we exchanged phone numbers because I figured it’d be good to know her. And she also just thought it was fun to connect with me. So we exchanged phone numbers. She is the first person to get picked to share, and she does an incredible job, and I’m so proud of my new friend. She gets good scores and that was something else. I didn’t realize that we were even being scored. I thought that we were just going up there, kind of like karaoke, and just share our story from our hearts. You know, kind of like improv.

Well, no, there’s a specific criteria that you’re to follow. It’s supposed to be timed and you are judged and you get scores.  I was like, “Oh, okay, well, if I’m meant to get picked, I get picked. If I’m not, I won’t. No big deal, right?” My name is called next. I’m like, “Oh shit. Too late to turn back.” Now, I walk out on stage loosely having a story that I wanted to share about divorce and had no idea how long the story was gonna be.

I was proud of my story because my message was about divorce as completion.  It was about not to fear it, not to think you’re bad or wrong, or to shame yourself for going through divorce or for considering divorce, but to see it as completion and to continue to send that person love and appreciation after the separation.

So I finished my story. I just stopped. There was no real ending. I just stopped talking.  I had no idea how long I’d been talking. The audience applauds me. I go and sit down and my scores pop up. They’re low. They’re pretty low, and I’m thinking, “Well, I didn’t know what I was doing. It’s fine. At least I got up there and shared my story. It’s okay.”  The next person gets up there, her scores are much higher than mine. The next person gets up there, their scores are also higher than mine, to the point where my name just kept dropping lower and lower in that scoreboard. I’m sitting there feeling like I’m gonna explode with tears, fighting them back. Just feeling all the feelings that I have no right to be here. Who am I to be a speaker? I need to pick something else. I can never do this professionally. Who would pay me for this when I just got that score? I don’t deserve to be here. The lights finally came on during intermission and I did not say goodbye to any of my new friends. I beline it the hell out of there. I fast walk to the metro, get to the metro. Two people ask me for money, and I’m thinking, “Well now I’m gonna get robbed after just being kicked down, being told I wasn’t good enough, basically by a huge audience of people that I’ve never even met.” Finally I get home and I cry myself to sleep.

Realizations after the Failure

I wake up the next morning wanting to blame someone for these feelings. These feelings of inferiority, these feelings of failure. And I’m thinking, they shouldn’t have judged you. They shouldn’t have given scores. That was humiliating. I will never step foot in the Miracle Theater again. And then I got curious and I started thinking, what part of me has such a strong desire to win? Why? 

I thought back in my life to other times when I had won and lost and what happened, and what I recalled was if I would score the winning goal in soccer or if I would get chosen for a part in the play in my school auditions, then, I would receive a lot of love from my father. And my dad was a performer as well, and I was thinking, this is his arena. I can’t let dad down. My dad has now departed. I was thinking, “Wow, I really let dad down.” And I think subconsciously that was actually what I was responding to. Not my scores, but what it meant and how it made me feel. I realized that winning was actually me putting myself out there saying yes to allowing myself to be someone who shared a story in hopes of inspiring and uplifting others.

Maybe someone in the audience was going through a divorce right then, or was about to, and was fearful and needed to hear my message not to be afraid. That was why I shared that, not to get good scores. And then I started thinking, how is this any different than getting crappy scores in mini golf? Why does this matter so much?

And I realized that it was the being stuck in this idea of what success looks like. Success looks like lots of money. Success looks like high scores. Success looks like praise from others. So, as long as we need that feeling and that validation from others, we will never feel success within. The success here is in putting ourselves out there of being bold and being brave. Having the desire to inspire and to help and to teach others, that is success. 

And that is my story of how I was humbled, yet was also able to pick myself back up and grow through this perceived failure and to not see it as a failure at all. I also realized that the name of the theater was The Miracle Theater, and I laughed about that because of the breakthrough that I experienced in the Miracle Theater.

This is the exact story that I plan to share at the next month’s event. I’m not shying away. I’m not hiding. I’m not staying home feeling sorry for myself. I’m gonna put myself out there again only one month after having that happen. That is success. That is winning. 

Episode 33- Worthy

Worthy

In this episode, Julie shares how our worth is not determined by how much money is in our bank account, how many people want to work with us/date us/ what our body looks like, etc. Our worth comes from our existence as the divine beings that we are.  It’s not what we do, it’s WHO we are.  So long as we define worth and success as something outside of ourselves that we can achieve, we will endlessly be searching for it.

In This Episode, You Will Learn About:

  • How to redefine worth and success
  • How to feel successful before the money comes/before the partner arrives
  • How to cultivate a greater sense of self-worth


FREE downloadable training course

Schedule your Abundance Breakthrough Call Today:

https://juliegoetzinger.as.me/schedule.php?appointmentType=31237929


Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts

“Julie is so inspiring!” <– If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more women — just like you — accelerate their careers. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/absolutely-abundant-a-podcast-for-soul-aligned-creatives/id1602144470

Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. I’m adding a bunch of special release episodes and, if you’re not following, there’s a chance you may miss out. Follow now!

About Julie Goetzinger:

Julie Goetzinger is a psychic medium, best-selling author and coach who teaches how to make more money and impact without sacrificing your well-being. In her book, “Free to Fly: Manifest the Life of Your Dreams,” she shares her story of how she created abundance by stepping into her true self as an artist and spiritual medium. She is the creator of Free to Fly and has seven years of experience in business as an entrepreneur.

Connect with Julie Goetzinger: 

Work with Julie

Get free training to learn how to make more money and impact without sacrificing your well-being

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LinkedIn

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Email: julie@juliegoetzinger.com

Worthy

Feeling Unworthy

This year has been a huge lesson to me in identity and defining myself by success, defining myself by how much money was in my account, and how many people wanted to work with me. And as people completed their contracts and moved forward, it felt like a not good job for me for helping them get where they needed to be. I took it as they don’t want to be with me anymore. I have no value to them anymore. That was the story I told myself, and it felt like heartbreak. It felt painful. And as the client started to move on and had some unforeseen things happen financially this year, my worthiness went down dramatically.

I started to think they don’t wanna be with me. I have nothing to offer. I’m done. I scheduled some connection calls with past clients who told me what’s happened since working with me, things I didn’t even know. One of them fell in love with her partner and now has two children with her.

And I was like, “How long has it been since we talked? You were single the last time we worked together.” And then another client was telling me about this huge surge in income that she’s had in her business and the money blocks that I help her to overcome. And then others, it was just so good to hear their voice and reconnect with them, and they reminded me of what I’ve already done. 

The lessons taught are invaluable to them, but for me, it just felt like loss. It felt like I was not good enough, and I started moving money around. I started getting resourceful and really reorganizing everything, scrutinizing every little payment that I was making. To be very mindful is something that serves my business. Is this working? And if it wasn’t, I let it go. So it gave me the opportunity to go through everything with a fine comb and to let go of things that weren’t joyful or that weren’t bringing a return to my business. So that was a great gift, but a shift happened for me. 

The other night at three o’clock in the morning, which is my hour when the spirit wakes me up. I heard very clearly, “You’ve been inauthentic, Julie. You’ve been inauthentic.” And I was like, “How? Like how am I being inauthentic?” And what I received was, “You need to claim who you are as a psychic medium and not shy away from it for fear of judgment. How others gonna receive you? How can you package yourself so that you’re accepted by more people, so that you can make more money, so that you can feel more loved, more accepted?”

And I was told very specifically, “You need to change this title. You need to own this. This is who you are. This is not a profession. This is your calling. This is your mission. You need to do this.” And I had started to shift to serve who I thought needed to be served in order to make money, in order to sustain myself and my family.

I was like, “Well, I need to teach business strategy. I need to do this. This is what people want.” And what happened was there was a disconnect and they were saying, “I don’t have time for another program. I don’t have time. I don’t have money for another education program right now.” And in my mind I was like, this isn’t an educational program. I miss psychic medium. I can connect to your loved ones. I can connect to your guides and your angels and help you step into your highest growth potential. This is not education, this is the mission and not just my mission, but their mission too. And I think that’s why. It was painful to hear people say, “I’m just not ready yet.”

Embracing the Authentic Self

I’m just not ready yet. But I’ve been saying that to myself. I’m not ready yet. I’m not ready to step into the full version of who I am. And at 3:00 AM, I changed my title to Psychic Medium, and I put it all over social media. I put it on my website and I’m like, “I’m just gonna accept that this is it. This is it.”

And I looked back in my life at the times that I did accept that and wrote about it in my book, claimed that as my own, and just shared it with the world, my abundance was there. And right after I reclaimed this title—this has been who I am in multiple lifetimes—I got the yes I’d been waiting for. Not just this yes on my house. It feels like a complete new lease on life, and I had started to feel the urgency around moving and it’s time to move. I keep hearing that it’s time to declutter, it’s time to shift. And I was like, “I don’t have that much stuff. I’m in an apartment. I’ll do that when I move.” I started to look around for some places to move and I was thinking, “I’m done with being in an apartment. I’m done having lots of neighbors.” 

I’m an empath. I feel every little thing. And being in an apartment has been very challenging for me for multiple reasons, but this is just not the way I want to live. This is not conducive to my lifestyle. And I started looking for other options. I saw this house, it was like a little cottage, and it’s by a lake. And I drove up with my daughter and she said, “Mommy, can we afford this? This is its own house.” And I said, “Well, actually, it’s less expensive than where we are now because I’m in a high-cost living area.” And she was like, “Wow, mom. It’s so beautiful.” And we hadn’t had a tour schedule yet, but I had my daughter’s approval, which is really important to me because she’s very in tune as well.

And we drove away and I was like, “I gotta move on this.” So, I set up a tour the next day with the owner. I walked in, and there’s a sage in the middle of his table and there’s crystals everywhere. And I was like, “What is this?” This is like a stage for me. Like I don’t meet many people who have all of this where I live and the east coast near Washington, DC. There’s not a lot of us that I’ve met personally that live here. And this man has this over his house and I’m talking to him, seeing all the things that we have in common, and I’m just like, “This is my house.” I started taking pictures of every room, like planning out where I’m gonna put everything. Meanwhile, I didn’t even fill out an application yet, but I knew it was my house.

And I drove away and all the fears, “What if he doesn’t pick me? What if my finances aren’t strong enough? What if he wants someone with two people’s income?” All the fears, all the doubt, the self-doubt, the worthiness that I’ve been struggling with all year, not feeling good enough, it came out to the forefront. The night that I decided to reclaim who I am and not to be fearful of the judgment that I may receive for saying or claiming or sharing that I am a psychic medium. The next morning I got the yes for the house. The excitement that I felt, knowing that this is where I’m going to step into that next highest version of myself as an entertainer, as a performer, and as someone who is ready to be seen and received by the masses. 

And feeling so called to performance, feeling called to big audiences, big crowds, I know that it’s going to happen when I’m in that house. And all of this happened after I said yes, and after I did some looking into the worthiness piece. When things are stripped away from us, we associate that with our worth, our money, our appearance, and who we’re in partner with. The other day I was thinking I’m not where I wanna be financially. I don’t have a partner right now. I don’t know where I’m gonna live. I don’t know what’s happening with my business. There were so many unknowns that I was just like in the depths of hell, in the depths of it, dark night of the soul. Like, I’m done. Done with all of this, and I don’t deserve this because I’ve worked so hard to get where I am.

And meanwhile, the outside world is telling me, “You’re amazing. You’re so inspiring. You’ve changed my life. We’re so appreciative of you.” I can hear that all day long, but until I know it and I feel it within, it means nothing.

Not needing the external world to validate us, but seeing it from within, trusting our intuition, going where it says to go, and visualizing the future. Already realized I saw myself in that house. I see myself in that house. I see myself on stage. I’ve had dream over, dream over, dream over dream of huge stadiums audiences filled, coming to hear me speak. And the lesson for me has been this: we’re not worthy by what we do, how we look, who’s with us, who thinks we’re good enough. We’re worthy because we exist because we’re here. We’re all worthy exactly as we are. Not after we’ve gotten more education, after we have more money after our body looked a certain way after someone tells us they love, but for exactly who we are in this moment. You are worthy.

So it’s time to start celebrating that future that’s not even realized yet. Start celebrating it now. Feel it now. See yourself there. Now doing it, being with who you wanna be with, where you wanna be. Feel it. You are worthy of all of it. And it can happen like that. And some of us choose to have our manifestation spread out. Some of us choose to get them in this like windfall. That’s what I like. Just give it all just a huge windfall, thank you. But however you are open to receiving it, knowing that it is coming, you put your order and you’ve requested it is coming. You are worthy of it.

What’s mine will never pass me by. What’s mine will never pass me by. My requests have been heard. My request have been honored. And in the perfect time and in the perfect way, they will be realized.